Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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