i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
