it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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