you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
