I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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