it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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