Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
