So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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