At least make sure they are 18
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night