My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just want nice things and good sex
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
