She's JV to your varsity
My liver just broke up with me...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize