new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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