He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
