so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
