Too much gin, very little bucket
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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