Got a toothbrush?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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