I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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