I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
