i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
