He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
