hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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