Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
