next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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