walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sorry about my life...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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