just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
