i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
