Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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