I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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