dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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