Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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