you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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