Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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