great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
