I think i peed on brittanys purse
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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