just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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