so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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