Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
