break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
