Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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