Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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