I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize