will power is for people who don't want to get laid
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want nice things and good sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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