porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
