I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize