these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
