Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize