I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
A+ Viking dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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