girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
