im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
