Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize