Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Everything about him screamed your future.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
