I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
