you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
