I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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