You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
